Fear & Self-Loathing in Your Bedroom, a poem by Nikki Haze

Earlier this week I was pleased to bring you a short story from erotica author Nikki Haze, Hate Fucking. We decided that one swap wasn’t enough for this week. For this second swap we added a little twist. The first one, I was thrown into her territory and wrote an erotic short story, Closing Time…but this time, Nikki has to jump into MY realm…Nikki wrote a poem for you to enjoy. I hope you enjoy this one. I read through it and was very moved. I hope Nikki decides to write some more poetry.

You can find my poem, the other half of this swap, over on her blog.

Fear & Self-loathing in Your BedroomNikki Haze's poem image

Where is the poem for you?
A delicate phrase for your wild eyes
Two orbs moving in silent film
You gave out all those paper hearts
In tongues, a mystery to me
Where are the words for you?
Letters and forms, a tribute to soft lips
So:

I’m cold, lying here in my bed
The soft blankets tangled with your slender legs
Staring at a blank screen, tears in my eyes
I’m wide-awake; your harsh words stole my prose
Analyze me, again and again
Lay down those heavy-handed assumptions
I’ll study you, too

The welts of your past, beat them into my skin
Whip me with rejection, make it hurt, make me bleed
Run your tongue up my spine, bite down right there
Yeah, just like that
Tear the hair from my scalp, let it fall to the floor
Tell me what you want, promise what you’ll do
My fragile resolve,
Just ashes now

Tie me up, don’t be gentle
Hold my wrists to the ground
Steal my time
Breathe your pain down my throat
I’ll inhale it from you
Pour the truth under my skin,
I’ll hold it close, keep it safe
For you

Don’t say it again,
I have nothing to give
A friend is good to have,
But your tender kiss tastes of rapture
I feel empty; I’m so full of you
Inside of me,
All over me
Dripping down my legs
On my breath
Under my nails

Help for you cannot be found in skin
Not in bright eyes, or sharp words
Those bundles of neurons,
You won’t find respite there,
Not in prayer or a book
Or another soul,
An empty distraction
There’s no answer for you

Come here
Leave them all
Still as stone, watching you
Come here, just let them be
With their drunk eyes and groping limbs
Come here, fall in my arms
Yes, drown in me
Drown me in your pain
I’ll choke it down, inhale again
It won’t hurt if it’s for you

The carnival mirror of my desires,
A distorted reflection of truth
I unwind it, slowly
Connect the shattered pieces,
Make it beautiful again
I make you for me

You found her that way
“Until death do we part”
What a long, sad sentiment,
There’s no escape from that promise

Who laments for your privation?
Who dances words onto the page?
You deserve a careful rhyme,
Almost as much as I want you
I see you, I see you
You’re worthy of poetry
Of more,
Of falling like this…

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About the Author Poet, Nikki Haze:

Nikki Haze is a multi-published erotica author with a large twitter and blog following. She write’s about bi-curious and straight characters in decadent situations. She often writes about exhibitionism and group sex; usually both at the same time! She likes her climatic scenes to end with everyone covered in cum. The craziest place she’s ever had sex is her building’s lobby. She currently has over 20 titles available on Amazon

She loves to hear from fans and is a huge supporter of her fellow erotica writers! #writersunite

Website | Twitter | Goodreads | Amazon

2 responses to “Fear & Self-Loathing in Your Bedroom, a poem by Nikki Haze

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