Autopilot Off

Autopilot Off

  • Wake up.
  • Take shirt from dresser.
  • Take khakis from closet.
  • Shower, brush teeth,
  • Put on clothes on, step into shoes.
  • Butter bagel, consume bagel.

As I walk through my front door I’m flooded with thought upon thought of way too many things.  Most of the time, I do my best to focus on one thing.  When it is not easy to focus, I try to control only a few.  Either way it’s near impossible to keep my mind straight and I often give my thoughts free reign.

  • Unlock bike.
  • Climb on bike.
  • Travel to place of work.

Do I check for cars or people as I cross the roads or ride the sidewalks?  I’d like to think that I do, but sadly I doubt that I do.

  • Make it to place of work on time.
  • Grab a cup of coffee.
  • Sit down at desk.

…and sit.

…and sit.

What do I do while at work?  I sit at the same desk day in and day out pushing a pencil across a piece of paper.  I make numbers out of other numbers.  Then I go on to type up what I have just written onto the computer.  All the mediocre shit that was typed up then gets sent to my boss.  That is my job.

  • Get up from chair.
  • Exit place of work.
  • Unlock bike.
  • Climb on bike.
  • Travel to house.
  • Arrive at house.
  • Lock up bike.
  • Walk into house.
  • Change into unsoiled shirt.
  • Exit house.
  • Turn south, advance two blocks.
  • Turn west, advance an additional block.
  • Enter drinkery; sit at table.


“Hi I see you in here often.  Would you mind if I sat down?”

  • …huh?
  • Searching files
  • …um?


…drink again.

  • Tal oma nto asdfgakjdfglj…

< System failure, Autopilot Off >

“I’m Sarah.”

A woman.  What do I do?  I don’t know what to do.  The last time I had a woman talk directly to me I was back at high school.  I nearly pissed my pants back then.

Ok, everything will work out, it always does.  I get through life everyday, just take it calmly.  I didn’t piss my pants back then, so I probably won’t with this woman. Just take a breath. Then talking to her will be easier.

  • ……adf…geghe..aaleki…

Ok that didn’t work out. I can do this, she’s just a woman.  Well she’s an attractive woman, but still a woman.  It will kind of be like when talking to my mom.  But this woman didn’t give birth to me out of her warm beautiful…

Focus. Relax and talk to Sarah. Yes, her name is Sarah. Names.  I’ll tell her my name.

“Um, I’m Ray.”

“Are you ok,” she asks with a smile.  “You look like you’ve had a hard day.”

“Hard life is more like it.” I respond.

With each new word I feel more at ease.

“I hear you.  My boss has been riding my ass for months.  I make advertisements for big magazines and get shit on for not handing in my ads a month before the deadline.”

“I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I do everything that my boss should be doing, on top of my own work.”  I’m starting to feel alive.  “Could I buy you another drink, to celebrate our bosses?”

…drink, enjoy.

One response to “Autopilot Off

  1. Nice style in this. It is short but the variance in how you get your ideas across and the turn around point when the auto pilot turns off is going to get people interested and hold their attention. more please

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